The North American continent is one large piece of land. The people who live on the land are as varied as the landscape. And as in the old world, from which many have come originally, the people speak English, French, and Spanish. That is not to say other languages are not spoken in Mexamericanada, because they are, plenty of them. The number of dialects spoken on the continent, reflect the number spoken throughout the world.
The question is what language should be the “official language?” Since picking English would be unfair to Mexico with its dominant Spanish speaking population, maybe we should pick one that would force everyone to learn a new language. By changing all the road signs, books, voice mail answering machines, manuals, assembly instructions, labels, and brail documents we could generate trillions in new revenue with the change over. There would be an explosion in demand for certain professions. Teachers, interpreters, linguists, even therapists to help people deal with their sense of inadequacy in learning the new universal language.
I’ve taken the time to look up languages spoken by more than 10,000,000 people on the earth, and have taken the liberty to list some of them to chose from. Some of the more interesting ones are: Gujarati, Bhojpuri, Tamil, Marathi, Telugu, Panjabi, Javanese, and Bengali. If we picked one of these, no one would have an edge over the other in the scramble to learn and be proficient in speaking the new standard of Mexamericanada.
Maybe we should settle for a form of the Akkadian language used in ancient Babylonia, where the people were devoted to materialism and the pursuit of sensual pleasure just like us, here in Mexamericanada.
Written By Lloyd H. Frye
Op-Ed Columnist
The Hot Joints
