Kinky Friedman: ‘How Bill O’Reilly Became A Factor In My Life’

June 24, 2008 · Filed Under Funny

Texas Monthly has a hilarious piece from Kinky Friedman. He talks about how his previously rocky relationship with Bill O’Reilly has blossomed into a friendship. He says his life has improved dramatically since O’reilly hired him to appear on the show once a week.

…Bill is dealing with me in his most self-effacing Lieutenant Columbo fashion. He asks me questions, and I say things like, “Well, Bill, Obama’s too skinny to be elected president, McCain’s too old, and Hillary’s just staying in the race to irritate Dick Morris.” On another occasion, I told him that Mexico dropped out of the Olympics: “Everybody who can run, jump, or swim,” I explained, “has already left the country.”

I also called the Texas and Pennsylvania primaries accurately, thereby winning a bet with Bill for a big, hairy steak next time I’m in New York. But the best sign that things are finally going well is that Bill no longer calls me Mr. Friedman. He calls me Kinky, which, of course, is my Christian name.

Another good sign is that I’m receiving gifts and letters from all over the world. The most recent was a beautiful coffee mug from a lady in Alabama. The inscription reads “Sweet Jesus, I hate Bill O’Reilly.”